Monday, March 9, 2009

Bye Bye Little Guy...

Tyler with his mom, Mama B, and Papa B - so many people love you little boy!

Riding on Papa B's shoulders before our drive

Saying bye to Kai-Kai

Mesmorized by the huge sea lions.


Driving the super cool tractor.

Watching the fish at the zoo.

Mama B giving him a kiss in our hotel room in Portland

Helping me vacuum and wearing my shower cap:)

Morning playtime with his Elmo toy

On February 17th we received the phone call that Tyler would be leaving us and joining his mom the very next day. Since that day became our "last day" with Tyler, we both decided to take the day off work to spend with him. I, of course, was a ball of tears that day and was pretty upset that we were only given one day's notice from DHS that he would be leaving. Thankfully, the weekend before we had been able to take a little family trip to Portland which included taking Tyler to the Portland Zoo so he could see the "efants".

When Wednesday morning rolled around I was still feeling pretty weepy. Robert got all of Tyler's clothes and toys packed up since I was too emotional to say "goodbye" to even his belongings. And at the last minute Robert got the idea to ask his caseworker if we could accompany them to the reunion with his mom and help ease him into his new living situation. The reason we hadn't been asked to join in the reunion was because his mom is currently in a treatment facility in Eastern Oregon which is about a 5 hour drive - one way. Tyler's caseworker said we were more than welcome to drive him there ourselves, so we threw a suitcase in the car, loaded Tyler and all his gear into the Mazda and headed for the Oregon/Idaho border.

When we pulled up to the treatment facility I couldn't stop crying. Right then and there I said "Lord, you've got to get me through this. I just can't do it on my own." And He did. We walked into the center, Tyler's caseworker asked one of the staff to let his mom know that we were there, and we waited in suspense for Kim to come see her son. When Kim came around the corner, she was overcome with emotion. The first words out of her mouth were "Robert and Holly came too!" and she burst into tears. We've been in contact with Kim via telephone every week since December, and most of her phone visits with Tyler have also been phone visits with me (it's hard to get a 2 year old to carry on a conversation). She couldn't believe we had driven all the way to see her, and once I saw Kim and how happy she was, I knew Tyler was in the right place. In fact, rather than crying, I ended up comforting Kim during the reunion with Tyler, and let her use all the kleenex I had stuffed into my purse for my own anticipated breakdown.

At first Tyler was pretty clingy to Robert and me, but after about 10 minutes of observing Kim and hearing Robert and me talk to her it was like a switch was flipped in his little brain and he toddled over to her and said "mommy?". She picked him up and hugged him and he wouldn't leave her arms the rest of the night. My normal reaction would have been severe jealousy (hey, I was "mommy" for the previous two months!), but God changed my heart towards the situation, and I was glad for Tyler and for Kim that they had found each other again. We took some pictures, gave Kim a list of his daily routine, gave Tyler a kiss goodbye in Kim's arms, and headed to our hotel. And God was faithful... I didn't shed a single tear.

Just last week I received a phone call from Kim (which was quite a surprise!) She had called just to give us an update and to let us "talk" to Tyler (although he had just woken up from a nap and wasn't feeling like talking on the phone:)) Kim informed us that she was still going to church and that she had Tyler baptised! She even confided in me about some of the difficulties she's been having learning how to be a mother to Tyler and that she feels like she gets pretty impatient with him. She said the sermon at church last Sunday was on being kind and patient with others... and she felt the message was just for her! We hope to visit Kim and Tyler again soon, and to continue to be a source of friendship and support for them both when her treatment is done and they return to Bend. We sure miss having Tyler around, but we also feel blessed for the time we had with him, and for the way God has used this entire situation to bless all involved.


  1. Wow - I can only imagine that goodbye!! Praise God that his mom is going to church, learning about God and His love!! We will pray that she will be the mom that Tyler needs her to be!! Thank you for loving him so!!!

  2. Robert & Holley, You are being used in a great way by our Heavenly Father. I know you'll be wonderful parents, just as you've been awesome parents to little Tyler. Laura and I are proud to call you our friends.

  3. The Lord is amazing, without His strength I too would be a basketcase. Its nice how He comforts us in times we think are too hard. Very thankful that T was able to spend those two months with you and that his mother is walking in the right direction! That's so great she called and gave you an update!

  4. "we also feel blessed for the time we had with him, and for the way God has used this entire situation to bless all involved." -- seriously. You knew there was a reason God wanted you for this... and there it is. Even if you only touch one life, it's definitely worth all of the ups and downs that come with it. God bless you guys. You're gonna be amazing parents.