Don't Buy What the World is Selling

I loved school. I loved college, and grad school, and everything literary and academic. In fact, I thrived in that environment and whether I knew it or not, I let in more of the world's philosophies than I ever intended. And even though I went to a Christian school from kindergarten through 12th grade, went to church, had Christian friends, and thankfully was deeply rooted in the truth when I headed off to college, the world still crept in. In fact a lot of it was so "accepted" by even the Christians I knew or the church in general, that I didn't even THINK to question whether what I was doing, or accepting as right, really was! I blindly bought into what was "approved" by Christian culture hook, line, and sinker. Get a secular degree? Of course! Get a secular Master's Degree? Sure, you're so smart, rack them degrees UP girlfriend!!! Get a full-time teaching job at a secular college? Yes, how successful you are! Take birth control pills to prevent babies from "interrupting" those first fun years of marriage? Yes! Everybody's doing it!!!

I'm sure some of you are already ready with defenses of why none of those things are wrong. Because culture has SO engrained in us - even in Christians - that these things are GOOD. Education above all else! (Even if that education is coming from people who proclaim to be liberal, pro-choice, atheists, or openly oppose a biblical definition of marriage). Women can and should work work work! (Even if it means waiting to have babies, or aborting babies who come at the wrong time, or dropping your precious children off at daycare so you can earn a paycheck). But WHY do we do it? Does God want us (especially us Christian women) to work? To earn degrees? To face-off with all the other women and men out their in academia and the work force...just because we can??? There is SO. Much. Pressure on women today to "do it" just because we "can". But at what cost? Even if education and having a career are completely neutral things - why have we given them a place in our lives of such high esteem that we are willing to disobey God's commands for them or place them above our children??? Who are we ultimately trying to impress? Our parents? Our friends? Ourselves? Do we base our worth in our academic achievements? Our job title? Our paycheck? I know I did from about 15 - 25. Straight A's. Valedictorian status. Graduated from college in 3 years. Masters Degree at the age of 22. I was a Christian, but I let my accomplishments and achievements define me. It felt good. And I honestly saw nothing wrong with it. I figured, hey, I'm a pretty darn good college Spanish instructor - why wouldn't I want to share that gift with the world?!

And then I had kids. Triplets, actually. And for the first two years of their life I stayed home with them. Mainly because it was TRIPLETS and even if I had wanted to work, daycare would have cost more than what I would have made teaching Spanish! And when they turned two I actually did go back, very part-time, just to "get out" and have some "grown up time" two nights a week and "get back in the saddle" so to speak. And although it was fun and enjoyable and I made some extra money, even now just the thought of it kind of makes me sick. Not because teaching college Spanish is bad, but because I bought the lie that it's what I "needed" to be doing. That somehow teaching OTHER people's kids was somehow more important, or more worthy, than being home nurturing and "teaching" my own. That getting "paid" for my time was worth more than sitting at home nursing babies or changing diapers.

What a lie! It was about that same time that (and honestly, I can't even really remember the first thing that happened) God started putting specific people, books, blogs, and magazines in my life that RADICALLY changed my opinion on these things. Actually, it wasn't so much that my opinions "changed" as much as I had never even really thought them through! I had just accepted the status quo without ever really consulting God's word! Just because a million people (and I hate to say it - Christians) use birth control...does that make it okay? Can I really say "God, I trust you in every area of my life, BUT....I think I'll take the reigns on this one, thank you very much! I know better than you do the perfect number of children and the perfect spacing between them!" Just because many, many, many Christian women choose to work full-time, does that make it right? Is that pleasing to God even though we justify our disobedience with worldly-accepted answers like "we can't afford for me not to work" or "I'm a better mom when I'm fulfilled in my career." Our God-given job as parents isn't to buy our kids fancy clothes, or make sure they get into the best preschool, or even to have a fancy house for them to live in. Our job is to teach those children about the ways of God. All day. Every day. "You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up." (Deuteronomy 6:7). The world may tell you you need to work, or get another degree, but God calls Christian women to teach their children about Him. Not teachers. Not Sunday school teachers or your pastor. You. You blessed, lucky, mama who has the precious gift of a child. 

Just this week a woman I now follow on Instagram lost her young son. In the blink of an eye her life is forever changed. Her precious red-headed little boy ran into the street after a frisbee and was hit by a truck. Do you think that mama cares at all about her education or career right now? I'm sure that boy meant everything to her and that she'd give it all up in a heartbeat to hold him again. As horrible and painful as his death is, let it remind us of the precious gift that a child is. The world doesn't love children. They see them as nuisances. Interruptions. Marriage-ruiners. Career-destroyers. Just look at the billions of dollars spent on birth control and abortions if you don't believe me. All in the name of preventing children. 

As Christians, we are called to a different way. The way we live SHOULD look different than the world. If it doesn't, there is probably something seriously wrong! I am not trying to condemn anyone. Honestly, up until two years ago...that was ME. I hadn't even CONSIDERED these things! The world had done such a good job of blinding me to the truth (and that truth felt RIGHT), that I was totally and completely unaware of these things! I am so thankful to God that he slowly started opening my eyes to His better plan. So, on this Mother's Day, I encourage you to seek Christ's plan for your life as a Christian wife and mother. Stop listening to the world. Stop listening to your Christian friends (who may be listening to the world). Stop even letting what "feels right" dictate where you find your worth and success. Christ's plan is so much bigger. So much fuller than anything the world can ever give. His plan for women is so much more beautiful than the lies and false promises this world offers. Being a mother is the greatest blessing of my life. Nothing the world has to offer can even compete with my new "job". But I want to give it my all. I want to give it my best. And the only education I need for that, is the word of God. 


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Some of the resources that "coincidentally" started falling in my lap when God began opening my heart to His word and its plan for Motherhood are:

Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets Them Free by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. One of my favorite Christian authors. I also absolutely love her radio show "Revive Our Hearts" and try to listen to it every morning!

Above Rubies (sign up for their free magazine - it is full of such great stories and photos of Godly families. I literally squeal with delight each time it arrives in the mail!)

A Love That Multiplies  by the Duggars. I had never seen the show, and of course thought they were crazy. And then I read a few of their books. 2 kids or 20, the Duggars are doing it right and are some of the godliest parents I "know". 

Does the Birth Control Pill Cause Abortions? by Randy Alcorn. I had no idea. And you can get the kindle version for just $1.99. By the way, he's one of my favorite Christian authors.

A Full Quiver by Rick and Jan Hess. Such a great book! I've read this one cover to cover several times. Full of Bible verses, history, science, and humor!

The Way Home by Mary Pride. See just how much "feminism" has influenced the church and how wrong we've gone. 

Family UNplanning 

Keep it Simple.

When the New Year came, I thought about what I wanted to change. I didn't have a set "resolution" in mind, but I knew that in as many ways as possible I simply wanted to "simplify". I didn't know exactly what that would look like, but I knew it started with the obvious: getting rid of stuff, and finding ways to have less clutter and distraction in both the physical/tangible ways as well as (and probably even more importantly) with my time. I have four children 4 1/2 and under. I am BUSY. From the moment I wake up in the morning until...well...until they're all sleeping (and usually all four sleeping at the same time isn't a very big chunk of time) I'm on the move. Preparing snacks and meals, picking up the house, doing laundry, wiping bottoms, preparing more snacks and meals, answering questions, reading books, PREPARING MORE SNACKS AND MEALS, wiping messes off the floor (as well as more bottoms), changing dirty clothes, doing more laundry, answering more questions...you get the picture. Two things that were making everything even harder were too much stuff, and too much social media.

You see, when you have four kids under four, there is stuff EVERYWHERE. Even if every kid only has minimal clothing and toys and shoes...when you times that by four it suddenly isn't so minimal.  We purge stuff on a regular basis (we have to or we would literally be drowning or completely unable to move in our 1656 square foot house), but there was still just too much. And the toys. Don't get me started. We neatly sorted everything into cute plastic boxes, but the kids would get them down, dump them on the floor, spread them to every nook and cranny in the house, and then happily play with them for hours ... NOPE. That was it. They would spread them to every nook and cranny of the house and then just abandon them and ask if they could go outside or play with playdough. So why, day after day, hour after hour did I continue to bend over 1,000 times picking up 1,000 tiny toys??? It was insanity! So we moved them completely out of reach - INTO THE GARAGE (after discarding another 1/3 of them) with the intention of only bringing in one box per child at a time and making the kids play with one box, clean it up, and then and only then could they ask for a different box. Do you know what happened? They asked for a box of trains and blocks, AND THEY ARE STILL PLAYING WITH THE BOX OF TRAINS AND BLOCKS...2 months later. They don't NEED 1,000 toys! They don't even miss them! They play with each other or ask to take baths or go outside or read a book (those they still have full access to on a bookshelf in their bedroom). 

Another decision I made was to quit Facebook. I won't go into complete detail about how "attached" I was to that blue social media app, but let's just say my phone was always within reach and although it seemed harmless, I was checking it all. the. time. If the kids were occupied for a minute, I'd check Facebook. If dinner was cooking, I'd check Facebook. The hours and hours of the day and night I spend nursing Abigail every week - guess where I was? Iphone in hand checking Facebook. Now, I'm not saying Facebook is bad. I rather enjoyed it and the 500 friends and family members I just would not have contact with without it, but it was a constant distraction. I was practically living my life in Facebook statuses and feeling like I could never "catch up" - there was always a comment to reply to or a message from someone or just the habitual desire to scroll through the homepage seeing every photo and update and comment written by everyone all the way back until I got to something familiar (from when I had checked it 17 minutes earlier) and my brain could say "ahhh, see, you have missed nothing now. Mission accomplished." The thing I love about Instagram (and yes, I am very much still active over there...) is that it's just photos. No political postings, no status updates, no messages, no groups or pages. JUST. PHOTOS. And that's what I love. I love taking photos. I love sharing photos. Instagram is perfect for me right now. Yes, I miss certain aspects of Facebook, but you know what? Ripping off the band-aid was easier than I expected. I thought I would have withdrawals or give in and change my mind and race back to check the 4,342 status updates I had missed those first 5 days away, but honestly, I've hardly thought about it. I've been too busy enjoying hot bubble baths and good books and TALKING TO MY HUSBAND. Oh, and look...I finally had a chance to blog again! I even finally got around to painting my laundry room a pretty color after 8 years of living in this house with scuffed up, off-white, bullet-riddled looking laundry room walls that had seen too many hammers and nails and not enough spackle. Now? It looks amazing. I freaking cannot WAIT to do more laundry:)

Also on my list of other ways to simplify? Simplifying my diet. Less "clutter" (sugar, toxins, and stuff I just don't need) and more of the simple stuff. More water. More fruits and vegetables and beans and grains. Why does eating well have to be complicated? Sometimes the simplest snacks are the most fulfilling. A few favorite simple combos I've (re)discovered lately are: 

1. Apple slices and cheese

2. Hummus and cucumber slices

3. Black beans and Quinoa (Try this simple, delicious recipe)

4. A banana and a spoon to apply heaping scoops of cocoa almond butter to each bite:) 

And my new, favorite SIMPLE dinner recipe? Roasted Veggie Pasta. 

Photo courtesy of Allrecipes.com

I got the idea Here, but I've made it even simpler, and it is SO SO good! All you need: Veggies, Pasta, and Parmesan cheese (plus a few spices and olive oil). Here's how you do it:

1. Preheat your oven to 375. In a roasting pan or on a cookie sheet, spread out about 2-3 cups of chopped (bite sized) veggies. I like to use red bell pepper, mushroom, carrots, and asparagus (make sure to discard the woody stems first). Sprinkle them generously with oregano and rosemary, salt and pepper, a little minced garlic (if you like), coat and toss with about 2T olive oil and roast for 15-20 minutes (I like to pull them out about halfway through to mix them around so they cook evenly).

2. While your veggies are roasting, boil your favorite pasta. I like bowtie for this dish. Drain.

3. When your veggies are tender and done, pull them out and sprinkle some shredded parmesan cheese on top so it can melt slightly on the hot veggies. Fill bowls with your pasta, top with scoops of roasted veggies, add more parmesan if you wish, and voila! A delicious, healthy, SIMPLE dinner. I make it every week now. At least once. 

I'd also really like to learn how to knit, and cannot wait to get my garden planted. I plan to be outdoors with the kids a LOT once things warm up around here!

How are you simplifying your life?

Amazing Amazima: the ministry of Katie Davis and the best book you'll ever read.

I just read a book that changed my heart and hopefully my life. It's about this young woman and the ministry God led her to begin in Uganda, Africa - Amazima Ministries (Amazima is the Ugandan word for "Truth"). She felt God calling her to follow Him, really follow Him by leaving everything behind to "love the least of these".  What started out as a 3 week trip to an orphanage led to a one year stay which led to a new home and life in Uganda. At just 19 years old, this single young woman had adopted 6 young Ugandan girls who had no hope of family; by the following year she was the young mother of 14. She also feeds and clothes and gives educational and medical help to HUNDREDS of other children each week and travels daily to other nearby towns offering medical assistance, food, and most importantly, the love and truth of Jesus. This young woman has taken Jesus at His word and is living life as His hands and feet to these precious people. Read about her story, her children, and the many, many lives she is touching in Uganda, in her book, Kisses from Katie.

Add it to your summer reading list. You won't be disappointed. You may never be the same.

First-Aid Kit in a Bottle

I've had this little bottle of Tea Tree Oil (Melaleuca Altemifolia) up in my medicine cabinet for years. I cannot even remember what I originally purchased it for, or even what I've used it for in the past, but the other night, when I was literally dying from a terrible, horrible, ginormous mosquito bite that I had found on the outside of my left knee that I could not stop scratching and while ransacking the bathroom looking for anything I could find that might provide some sort of relief, there it was staring at me from that thin, top shelf. Since I couldn't find any sort of anti-itch cream (not that those ever seem to actually do anything, but I needed something if even just for my mental well-being, you know, the good ol' placebo effect) and knowing Tea Tree Oil has a strong medicinal smell and comes in that magical, thick brown glass apothecary jar and therefore must have some medicinal uses as well (seemed a logical assumption to me!) I decided to grab it and read the label. To my delightful surprise I found these lovely words on the back: "First-aid kit in a bottle. Dab on cuts, stings, burns, and abrasions..."  I wasn't super hopeful that it meant it would do anything for my white, angry bug bite, but I figured it wouldn't hurt. So after I took a long, hot bath to take my mind off the itch, I grabbed the bottle and applied two drops directly to the bite. And do you know what? It stopped itching. And not only did it stop itching, but the next morning when I woke up, the bite - which had been puffy and swollen and about the size of a dime - was almost completely GONE. I could NOT believe it. I have always had terrible reactions to mosquito bites and they seem to last for days (and get bigger from me scratching them incessantly). This one was gone the very next day. I was so ecstatic about the results I did a little more research and found out that Tea Tree Oil has antiviral, antibacterial, antifungal, and antiseptic qualities and can pretty much be used (with fantastic results!) on any sort of skin ailment including (but not limited to): cuts, scrapes, burns, bug bites, pimples, and even other dermatological conditions such as psoriasis. It really is like a magical little first-aid kit in a bottle which means not only is it a better natural alternative than chemicals and steroids and other harsh medications used to treat common skin ailments, but now instead of buying a different product for each problem (think Neosporin, Hydracortisone Cream, or other -expensive- prescription creams and drugs) you can just keep a little bottle of Tea Tree Oil (TTO) handy...and use it on everything! I had no idea it worked so well and I am so excited to now be privy to this great secret! And having four little ones around who are constantly getting scraped up, I'm sure this little bottle that has sat unused for several years, will now be used up in a jiffy! 

To Abigail on Her First Birthday

June 14th, 2013

Sweet Abigail Jane,

I haven't even written my first thought down yet and the tears are already starting to flow. You are our greatest blessing. Although the world would have had us think that having triplets already was "enough" - God knew better. He knew we needed you in ways we could not have known. And He sent you to us in His perfect timing; to bring comfort and joy and endless happy, drooly baby smiles. The day of your birth makes me giddy every time I remember it. It was perfect in every single way; everything we had ever dreamed of - a healing balm after the long, scary road we faced with your big brother and sisters. God fulfilled our every hearts' desire the day you were born  and although giving birth naturally was something I had always excitedly feared, it turned out to be an experience I will always be so deeply thankful for. You were placed on my breast just seconds after you entered this world and you really have not left that place for more than a few minutes at a time since that lovely day. It has been pure joy being able to nourish you with my body; being able to protect and care for you in ways I was unable to with my other babies. And because of that, I haven't wanted to let you go. When you fell asleep on me that first night at home, both of us happily exhausted from your birth, and we sort of "accidentally" began our co-sleeping journey, I realized that even while sleeping I wanted you right there with me. My skin warming yours and your skin warming mine. Both of us breathing and dreaming and waking in unison. Your small knees and feet tucked softly against my bare stomach. Your soft little hands lightly sweeping across my naked chest. Although I expected to be sleep deprived, I slept better than I had in years. Rather than waking for bottles or pumping or babies crying out from the other room, we fell into a beautiful routine of "dream-feedings"; you and I both rousing slightly from sleep to nurse and then both falling back into blissful slumber, cuddled close, you secure in mama's arms, me breathing in and savoring your sweet baby smells and touching your soft, downy head. As I write this you are lying on top of my tummy nursing in your sleep; one arm wrapped around my side, your head resting on my breast like a pillow. Oh, Abigail, you are the sweetest little baby. So happy. So content. So darling. I love the way you're always trying to stick your little hands in my water glass and how you just hold them there, submerged, grinning ear to ear when I let you. I love the way you scrunch your little nose up and say "Ohhh" and lean in to kiss me, your daddy, your brother and sisters. I love waking up in the mornings and feeling your soft little body against mine and having your sweet, sleepy face be the first thing I see. I love how you love to take baths; with me, with your siblings, by yourself. I love how you reach your little arms up so I will hold you. How I'm always holding you. How I've been given the gift of holding you nearly every minute of every day for the past year. I love how you just discovered this past week that you can grab my shirt and pull it up for "self-serve" nursing. I love the way you clap your hands; methodically and high so you end up clapping them right in your face. I love the way you refuse to lie still long enough for me to change your diapers and how you think it's hilarious if you can roll over and get away before I get one snapped on. Or the way you fling yourself into Grace's tent and try to hide from me. I love the way you love Oliver and how you're always looking for him. I love that your first steps were to Audrey followed by big hugs and kisses. I love being your mama, and most of all, I love you. 

Happy 1st Birthday, sweet Abigaily Janey.

Love,

Mama

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Proverbs 4:23